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Including The Children In Brainstorming Sessions That Are About Decorating The Bathroom
I know some fairly solemn disciplinarians. Some of my fellow parents, and even some of my friends, spend lots of energy disciplining their children. Instead of finding ways to work with them, they figure out ways to force them to obey blindly. I realize that it's important to have obedient kids, but I think there are better ways to handle it than by punishing them. Punishment is necessary, but the most important thing is to make the kid feel as though a part of her or his own life. If she or he understands that the determinations that he makes matter, he will be more apt to obey what you have to say. With freedom comes accountability, but with accountability also must come liberty.
I always attempt to include the children in determinations about household decorations. For example, they have to take care of cleaning the bathroom, but they get to pick the kids shower curtains. They need to keep their rooms clean, but they get to select children blankets. They switch who gets to pick out the kids shower curtains. This time, it is my daughter's turn. She has picked out a frog shower curtain which is one of the most endearing things that I have ever seen. Her kids shower curtains will stay up for the next couple of weeks, during which time she needs to take care of the bathroom. After that, one of the other kids shower curtains gets to be put up.
I did not come to this decision arbitrarily. I don't let them put up their own kids shower curtains because I've given up on getting them to hear me. Quite the opposite, I want them to listen to me. I wish to teach them that with work comes rewards. If my son wants to put up his lighthouse shower curtains, that's fine, but he needs to keep the tub wholly clean. If my youngest daughter wishes to put up her kids shower curtains, she has to try cleaning the bath herself.
She is very youthful, and has not been assigned chores yet, but soon she will. Instead of dreading them, she will in fact enjoy them. She will see them as a signal that she is getting to the age where she has the exact same rights and privileges as the older kids. The children shower curtains symbolize this, as do their bedsheets.
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